Patriots Unite! Boycott is the Way to Fight

If you are a true Patriot, now is the time to fight…boycott these companies NOW!

Patriots Unite!! Especially the most die hard of you Trump supporters. You can get them where it hurts. Show your devotion to your loving, benevolent leader who is being bullied and harassed. He is a victim! YOU are the victims! Be patriots! Stop supporting Big Tech and all their communist platforms! Unironically say, “this is a revolution” as loud as you want. Since they are stealing your votes, you must learn to vote with your wallets. If you all stick together you can get Trump back on these platforms so he can tell you the truth again. Don’t be sheeple. Getting onto Parler is only the first step. NOW…the real work begins. You must boycott all the following companies in order to be above reproach and not be accused of hypocrisy from within or from without:

1. Google — No more searching. Anything. Ever. Also no Gmail. Use AOL, Compuserve, Yahoo or Juno. No Google Drive. Anything saved must be external hard drive or floppy discs. No Google Maps. Print out Mapquest directions like you used to. Change your search engine to Bing.
2. YouTube — Owned by Google but might as well be the Chinese government with the way they censor. In fact all Big Tech, including YouTube, is owned by China. Videos like this are just false flags. Don’t read any news article that is embedded with YouTube links. Even if a FoxNews article links to Youtube DO NOT CLICK ON IT. Its a trick. It will give your computer a virus. Use Twitch.
3. Apple — Turn in your iPhones for Androids — wait don’t do that that…(see item 1). Use Nokia 2G phones. They are slow but so is meaningful change. Trade in your MacBooks and iPads. Buy Chromebook — wait don’t do that either. Don’t you dare ask about Airpods.
4. Amazon — owned by Jeff Bezos, who also owns fake news company the Washington Post. You must shop entirely in person next year for yeah I’m not afraid to say it…Christmas. Not “the holidays” or “Xmas.” CHRISTMAS. Buy from small businesses instead ….a lot use an e-merchant called Shopify to process payments. It’s much better. Breitbart approved. Also no using Alexa. No using Kindle. No Audible. If you MUST read books and not just unsolicited blogs and chain emails….read REAL books. They will make good kindling for the revolution.
5. Microsoft — Bill Gates is evil. That much is clear. His billions of dollars of philanthropy is just a front for the evil lurking below. It’s like…he’s trying a little TOO HARD don’t you think? He’s forcing vaccines on everyone, to quote unquote save lives, which its says in the Constitution is unconstitutional. This also means no Excel, no Word, no Outlook, or Power Point. If your employer says you must to use them to fufill your duties as their employee , tell them that they are infringing on your free speech, and you’ll see them in the Supreme Court. . You also can’t use any computer that uses a Windows operating system. Only use Linux based systems. Wait….they own Bing too?? How will we search for anything you ask? We will do what we used to: use the yellow pages like the patriots we are.
6. Reddit — way too restrictive and they no longer have a r/donaldtrump channel. Move to 4chan or 8chan where all the secrets are revealed. Don’t believe the lies: The truth is not in the light, but in the shadows. Deep, deep in the darkest corners of the internet the truth awaits. Are you awake yet?
7. Shopify — so…bad news….I guess they just banned him from Shopify too. Don’t use that either. Call companies you buy from to make sure they don’t use this service. Shopify now SUUUUUCKS!
8. Pinterest — This just in….they banned him too. Not sure why but…No more saving those “Trumpcakes” or “Freedom Snickerdoodles” recipes you loved. Pull out the old recipe box. If you threw it away start a new one. If someone asks you why you got off Pintrest use this line: “I am no longer pintrested in supporting a company that supports communism.”
9. Twitch — Ok, seriously how do we watch videos?
10. Twitter — the first Benedict Arnold of them all. You can muzzle a dog but you can’t make him bark. Amiright? This feels like the ultimate betrayal. The president’s most beloved tool, the one that made him who he is, was just tragically taken away from him. I mean he has a press corps in his house 24/7 but you are gagging him and making it impossible for him to reach the masses. This treason will not be tolerated. I mean it’s one thing for a bakery to deny a gay couple a wedding cake, but the minute they take away someone’s ability to troll, yell at strangers, shitpost, and subtweet, they just broke Constitutional laws. Dorsey must pay. No longer gonna line his pockets using a service I don’t pay a cent for.
11. Snapchat — I know you love the filters but this is really important for our Constitutional rights.
12. Instagram — I don’t care how much you like seeing cute pictures of food, your family, and young people yolo’ing. The revolution will not be #hastagged people. Yes, I give you permisson to use that #hashtag.
13. Tik Tok — none of you use this anyway but don’t use it.
14. Facebook — how far this platform has fallen? We used to be able to copy/paste other people’s thoughts and pass them off as our own. When people would ask us where we got them, we didn’t feel PRESSURED to tell them we didn’t know. Now we do. Zuckerberg changed everything. All of the 1st amendments are being violated. Sayonara Facebook ! (and in case you were wondering… I don’t care if that offends you).
15. Medium.com — If you are still reading this post, you have failed the test. You are not a patriot.